


Garden.

by justK



Category: K.A.R.D (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Other, also to kard, crying hours, give jseph lots of love, i wrote this in like 30 minutes, i've been crying like nonstop since the news, mentions of enlistment, sad hours
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:28:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26735113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justK/pseuds/justK
Summary: you feel more like home to me than any place i've ever been.
Relationships: Jeon Jiwoo/Kim Taehyung | J.Seph, Jeon Somin/Kim Taehyung | J.Seph, Matthew Kim | BM/Kim Taehyung | J.Seph
Comments: 1
Kudos: 24





	Garden.

**Author's Note:**

> as always not a native English speaker and its not betaed, so if you see mistakes feel free to tell me.

_a man travels the world in search of what he needs and returns home to find it._

  
  
  


_there is a garden i grow every day and night, too big to be kept in a small city house, big enough to encompass all the corners of my mind._

the light hit her face directly, her nose, unconsciously, scrunched up in something like disgust, and thus, she raised her hand to bring it to the brim of the cap and lower it over her eyes, creating even more shadow than the sunglasses could provide.

you could hear cars passing by on the left, people talking on the sidewalks and outside the stores, music coming from the inside of them, a dog barking in the distance, and simply the busy life of Seoul happening as always, not stopping for a second to think about what some souls wanted, some of them, like her, wanted this: _time_. only that. a little time, a brief pause that will give her enough moment to capture everything in the depths of her heart.

she wasn't really listening to the outside, too lost in thought to notice the little girl crying in her stroller because a friendly dog was sniffing her belly. she only heard her own footsteps thumping loudly in her ears followed by a strange echo that seemed to bounce off the thud.

she turned a corner to the right, reaching a slightly narrower street with a couple of fewer cars, a café owner going out to clean the tables outside. Jiwoo shook her head in a barely visible gesture in greeting and the lady smiled back at her. she walked just a little further and turned again, this time to the left into an elegant and even lonelier, private street. she stopped in front of a building and walked in. she did not have to do any paperwork or wait for approval, the guy at the reception, who was acting as a guard, directly gave her access and she thanked him. then, she walked to the lift and ascended to the thirteenth floor.

after the doors closed, another kind of silence greeted her. she drew in a breath and the action rumbled through the metal box. she dropped her head to remove her sunglasses and store them in her small tote bag, which she held in her left hand, where she also carried a plastic bag filled with some groceries. she then raised her head and saw herself in the mirror, as the cap covered her eyes, she had to lift her chin to catch a glimpse of her barely made-up eyes, enough not to look as haggard as she felt. she pursed her lips, forcing herself to be satisfied, and nodded once while humming.

the elevator rang indicating the arrival to the corresponding floor. she turned and adjusted her grip around the bags to get out. she walked to the left, in a habit that she knew so well, she had been thousands of times in that place, so well, that she knew exactly how many steps she had to take to get to the door.

_one, two, three, four._

she raised her hand to knock on the door, when it opened before she could do anything. the question _how?_ stuck in her throat, because _he_ was already responding.

“i know exactly how long it takes you to arrive when you tell me you are in that particular block.“

he smiled at her. and she couldn't help but do it too, using her still raised hand to land a light blow on his arm, playing. he laughed and hunched over for protection.

“move aside, then," she said, crossing the threshold of the door.

“so demanding,” he said, closing the door behind him.

“shut up, would you?” she replied still in a playful eagerness.

he arched an eyebrow and then looked down.

“what is it that you have there?” he inquired.

Jiwoo raised the bag. “food,” she said and handed him the bag. “i know you and i know that you will not have decent food and i am not going to eat instant ramen.” 

Taehyung snorted. “i wasn't going to share with you anyway.” 

Jiwoo smiled, she noticed that she had not taken off her shoes, so she took her feet out and put them naked on the floor, heading towards the living room, where, strangely, Taehyung did not have a television, it was in his bedroom, which was where they used to watch movies all lying on his bed; as he headed to the kitchen to drop the bag.

“i will never stop saying that you should have put a television here,” Jiwoo spoke.

Taehyung shrugged. “it doesn't matter,” he replied. “it's not like it makes a difference now.”

she looked away from the coffee table and looked at him instead, almost shocked.

“i mean,” he cleared his throat, “i have time.” 

she said nothing, choosing instead to turn her gaze to her clasped hands in her lap. she had nothing to say anyway. Taehyung was heard taking the last can out of the bag and placing it on the bar. a little silence.

“What is it?” 

there was no major noise in the apartment, just their breathing and the little noise Taehyung had made with the bag. you could hear their clothes rubbing with every movement, the friction of Jiwoo's back against the sofa as she turned around.

“you said that before once,” she said weakly, not looking him directly in the eye.

_“what will happen,” she began, “when you have to go to the service?”_

_“ah!” Taehyung exclaimed, Somin and Matthew watching expectantly. “let's not think about that. we still have time.”_

_“but we need to be prepared-”_

_“and we will be,” he had said. “with time.”_

it had seemed so far away back then that Jiwoo believed him. blindly and fully. as Somin and Matthew had done as well. but no one had warned them that when you are doing what you want, with people you love, loving unconditionally, time as time is nothing.

Taehyung's face fell visibly, his shoulders sagged, he forced himself to put his hands on the bar to steady himself.

“we don't have time anymore,” slowly, her eyes moved up his figure, until they met Taehyung's eyes.

“but we do!” he exclaimed in just a whisper that sounded like the explosion of a bomb in such a silent place. he hurried to regain his composure. “we do have time. and we will cook this tteokbokki you've brought.”

she didn't want to smile, Jiwoo really didn't feel strong enough to do it, but it was Taehyung, and when had Taehyung not made her smile?

she stood up and shuffled into the kitchen. they said nothing. there was no need. they cooked like they were real experts, moving in tune around the kitchen, Jiwoo doing most of the work, but Taehyung sang the songs that were being played on the speaker and moved his body in a slightly strange rhythm sometimes, and that, somehow, counted as double the work, maintaining an atmosphere like this, comfortable, fun, so that the chef could do her job well, was very important.

believe me when i tell you that this is the time they have exchanged the least words. there were laughs, there were jokes, some playful blows, songs and everything that Jiwoo considered paradise, what she had come to associate with family after so many years. so you must also believe me, and it should not surprise you, that Jiwoo cried her entire soul while in the soft bed of his room, comfortably tucked under the blankets, watching anything on the telly, with the soft body of her oppa breathing calmly by her side. 

long story short, Jiwoo hadn't been around as long as Somin and Matthew had been, and from what she fully understood, she knew they were even more devastated than her, which is why she had set aside a separate day to be with Taehyung, because she didn't feel like she should show the same level of sadness, that's why she spent less time with them, so he reserved it for Taehyung only.

she had spent ninety percent of the time in the last year thinking about his departure, begging all supernatural forces to please lengthen the seconds, to give her more time with her entire family, looking for ways to take advantage of every single moment.

_i have one tree for each one of our victories, one rock for each one of our defeats, one strand of grass for each second spent together and one flower for each time i think of you._

Taehyung was the oldest of the group and she was the youngest, it was only natural that their relationship settled on its own. their group had no leader, unconsciously dividing the tasks between everyone, but even with that silent agreement, she knew that Taehyung felt a certain responsibility for all of them and he strove day and night to do everything for them, feeling like a mother among them, providing an oddly familiar feeling they had grown used to quickly, perhaps way too much. they could be far from Seoul, from country to country, in unknown lands, listening to a language that was not their own, with strange people; but if everyone was there — if Taehyung was there — together, then everything was fine. _they were home._

but now, for the first time in years, Taehyung wouldn't be with them. during the trips Matthew wouldn't wake up to find him in the next bed, Somin and her wouldn't come to the practice room to find him there, they wouldn't visit his apartment anymore, Somin wouldn't complain about someone stealing her food, Jiwoo wouldn't have anyone to bother her. There would be no one who would bring them food in the middle of a recording, who would correct Matthew oppa's broken korean, or who would cover them with blankets to keep them warm and cozy.

so Jiwoo broke down. she broke down in Taehyung's arms, crying out all her sorrow, each tear symbolising just a little of how much she was going to miss him. she was sure she wasn't just crying for herself, she was crying for her and everyone else, because Taehyung didn't dare to look weak (or should i say, extremely strong) in front of them, Matthew didn't want to be inundated with emotional pain now that they they were his responsibility only, without having Taehyung to help him, Somin, for her part, had cried plenty, but Jiwoo knew that not even that had been enough to say goodbye to her best friend.

she cried for what seemed like hours, as they cuddled together, the movie long forgotten on the screen, the tips of her feminine fingers digging tightly into any piece of skin that she could feel to grab onto him, as if scared, terrified, to let go.

“i'll be back before you know it.” 

_and upon my little garden, there's a wondrous sun, as yellow as the hope i have nested in my chest, the hope i have for you to return._

_and around, scattered in the sky, you can see clouds, white as purity, fluffy as how big my dreams of us are._

Jiwoo didn't lift her head from where she had settled it on his chest, needing to hear his heartbeat, to feel that it was real and anchor herself to reality. she ran her index finger across his torso, drawing invisible figures. Taehyung flinched.

“we won't give up on you,” she spoke. “ _i_ won't give up on you. we'll work hard and i promise,” she clasped her hands in the fabric of his shirt, trembling slightly, “i promise there will be a KARD for you to come back to.”

“and even if there wasn't,” he said, combing a hand through Jiwoo's damaged hair, “i'll still come back. each and every single time.”

silence.

_“you're my family.”_

Jiwoo bursted into broken cries.

 _“you're ours too, Sebi-oppa.”_

she snuggled to his side and he hugged her even more, nosing her temple until she nearly fell asleep.

Taehyung would be gone for two years, visiting them only when necessary. and for the first time since they started to be together, as KARD, Seoul and its borders, would not feel like home. because Taehyung wouldn't be there and that was hardly home.

but they will be together again. Jiwoo clinged to Taehyung's words. _he'll be back._ hopefully before they even realise. and all their adventures would continue.

somewhere in the middle of the night, Jiwoo opened her eyes. their bodies still closely cuddled. his chest went up and down with each peaceful breath he took in his sleep.

she readjusted herself, scaled her position a little and lowered her head, placing it in the hollow of the junction of his neck and shoulder, breathing in his gentle aroma. then she approached, ran the back of he hand over his cheek and closing her eyes, she leaned in, a barely present kiss on his cheek and a tear running down from Jiwoo's face to his.

“i love you, Taehyung-oppa,” she said in muffled cries, not audible at all. “i'll wait for you.” 

_i planted this garden for you, in hopes you will come home just in time to see how much it has grown, so that we can spend the rest of our lives here, unbothered and happy, in a world we can call our own._

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
